Predicando para la transformación: 8 Habilidades vitales que necesitas

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Category Archives: emotional health

Why Transformation Takes So Long!

Last week at our two-day EHS Consultant Training, Wendy Seidman shared Bloom’s taxonomy of how people learn to help us understand why it takes so long for individuals and church/ministry cultures to “get” EHS. The following is her adaptation of Bloom’s classic work on the process people need to move through to really “get” something like EHS: 1- Aware. People hear about EHS for the first time (e.g. Sabbath, slowing down, past’s impact on the present, grieving, learning to feel). 2- Ponder. People think about it, trying to understand or sort through issues as they gather more information. At this point they don’t have a clear inclination for or against it. (e.g. They continue reading, listen to messages, go through the EHS Course, learn a few EHS Skills, talk about Sabbath with others). 3- Value. People think it’s important, find value in it, and commit to it, saying, “I really believe in this EHS. Read more.

Emotional Health Trumps IQ, Personality, and Gifts

Emotionally healthy spirituality (EHS) invites us to supervise and lead others, volunteer or paid, differently. Studies indicate that EQ (emotional quotient) is so critical that it accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs (Emotional Intelligence 2.0).  EHS, with a much deeper commitment to transformation, accounts for a much higher percentage. In fact, emotional health trumps IQ, personality, education, experience, and gifts for church leaders. For example: John is a gifted, productive church planter, but the chaotic nature of his family of origin in his early history drives him to dominate and control every environment where he leads. Joan is so cautious and fearful of change as an executive assistant (coming out of her abuse growing up) that it colors the events she administers. Ron’s anxiety to grow the church and launch new initiatives comes partially out of a family script that says, “You are worthless unless you do something great.” We. Read more.

Removing the Clutter

Etty Hillesum, a Dutch Jew, knew she was about to be sent to a concentration camp. In A Life Interrupted, she describes how she knew she could only take with her one small backpack to sustain her as she entered hell. In her mind, she pondered and planned, mentally packed and unpacked that small bag, before finally deciding on a Bible, a volume of favorite poems by Rilke, a bottle of aspirin, an extra sweater, and a chocolate bar. Etty struggled to define what was valuable to her, and what would sustain her on her journey. A stripping-down, a letting-go was inevitable as transport to the death camp came closer. If we are going to have an interior life, out of which we lead, it demands we limit what is in our knapsack, or backpack. Not knowing how to listen to our interior world puts us, our family, and the people we lead in. Read more.

Am I Becoming a More Mature, Differentiated Leader?

One of the key tasks of leadership is to become increasingly differentiated. Our primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate our “true self” from the demands and voices around us, discerning the unique life the Father has given us . This requires that I get calm and clear about what God has given me to do, that I take the necessary time to get clear about my values and goals, and that I get the core of my validation needs met from His love. The following is a self-inventory to help you determine if you are growing in your level of differentiation: Your life is becoming easier. You are able to distinguish between thinking and feeling. You have a greater ability to manage your triggers. You worry less about what others think. People in your family do better. Your goals become clearer. You have an ability to “stay out” of others’ emotions. You. Read more.

Projection and Transference

Ernst Becker, in The Denial of Death, observes we have a universal human need for heroic figures who are less helpless or broken than ourselves. We transfer our childlike feelings of dependency to celebrities, mega-church pastors, or other authority figures. (Freud called this transference). They appear to have triumphed over the hardships of life. They dazzle us with their self-confidence. We compare ourselves to them, feeling diminished in their presence. If we happen to get close to them and see their ugly side, we feel shocked and betrayed. We forget. They too feel frightened, inadequate, and vulnerable like the rest of us. Read the biographies of all spiritual, military, economic, intellectual, political, and artistic leaders through history. You will discover they each had their shadows and monsters. People will, at times, put you on a pedestal, idealizing you and projecting onto you qualities as if you were indistinguishable from the rest of humanity. But remember:. Read more.

10 Turning Point Lessons from New Life

Character is more important than gifting. Being is more important than doing. Do not rush. When decisions were made quickly, without pausing to pray, think, and process implications, we have had regrets. Each leader need to take responsibility and initiative for their own growth and development. Clarity of vision results in a unified leadership, and unified leadership reinforces the vision. Extended Sabbatical rest releases new, life-giving initiatives from God and enables us to serve out of a cup that overflows. Face the truth and act on it, even if it hurts. Enforce our values. When we have compromised on this, due to expediency, it has been costly, damaging our integrity as well as our long-term mission and effectiveness. Be faithful to our “charism,” the grace from God that is uniquely ours. Learn from other streams and ministries, but be content in our particular gift and DNA from God. Intentional mentoring and development of individuals. Read more.